I really appreciate your honesty. It is my fervent hope that we all continue to unpack our biases no matter how hidden or painful. It’s the way forward.
For example, I adore trans people, I’m attracted to them and think my trans friends are amazing.
But recently a friend of mine posted some pictures of pregnant trans men, and I got really, really angry. My anger shocked me. I did not know it was lurking there. But as a cis woman, who deals with the oppression of men Centering themselves everywhere, I feel that childbirth and the ability to bear children is uniquely for women-only. When I saw those pictures I felt that erasure, that encroachment that you talk about.
So I reached out to my friend and shared my feelings. I thanked her for posting the pictures because I wouldn’t have even known that I had this prejudice otherwise. I took some time to examine how I felt. I am trying to understand. I am trying not to let my anger get misdirected. When I see my trans male friends posting their proud topless photos online I get so angry because my chest is still not allowed. I know I shouldn’t be angry at them, but at the culture that created these rules.
Reading posts like this helps. It helps me to remember that each trans person has a lived experience that’s different from mine, and that likely contains a lot of pain. Your line about being a refugee in the women’s bathroom really went to my heart. I vow to keep increasing my inclusion. thank you