A Communication Tool For Boundaries and Codependency
How Non-Violent Communication helped me have good boundaries
Growing up as the youngest in my family meant learning to go with the flow. I rarely could voice my opinion, and when I did, it wasn’t taken seriously. I wore hand-me-downs and looked up to my brothers. They told me what music I should listen to. I played the games they wanted to play and watched the shows they liked to watch. The things I loved, roller skating, playing with My Little Ponies, dancing — meant being alone. All my memories of playing with my brother consist of Transformers, jumping in giant piles of leaves, climbing trees, and doing all the things he wanted to do.
The result of my experience is that I grew up without a strong sense of self. I grew up without really know what I personally valued or liked. As I became a teenager, I started to explore those things but was rejected by my peers and felt even more at odds with myself.
Looking back, I can see little hints of my true self glimmering through, but they were often stamped out by boyfriends. Like a copy of my brothers telling me what was right and good, I looked to my dates for the same approval.
